It all comes down to this: will my 48-hour car decontamination succeed or fail?
The walls are closing in. I’ve gambled my life on this. And I’ll find out in three hours.
I’m currently trapped in a toxic town, in a toxic bedroom, in an even more toxic apartment, wearing toxic clothes, surrounded by all my toxic stuff, and breathing toxic air.
I have no place safe enough to live in or even sleep in.
The only things that keeps my head above the water are frequent showering and my N95 masks.
I owe my survival, in part, to a toxin-avoidance community I’m in. I would be lost without them.
The community believes that N95 masks are not very useful. These masks block 95% of 0.3-micron particles, but most toxins are smaller than 0.3µ.
Besides, breathing is a pathway for detox, and our breaths from our sick bodies are toxic. It’s one way we detox. But this detox contaminates our masks—and everything around us—very quickly. Which then self-contaminates us again. Our detox is a boomerang.
So in theory, N95s aren’t good. So I didn’t try them.
But the community is also empirically minded. It believes practical experience trumps theory. So it’s a huge proponent of going out and testing things out yourself. This is science done in its purest, most practical form.
So one day, I tried the N95 masks, and I was surprised. They helped. The usefulness of N95s can change with my changing body and environment, but for now, they help.
Granted, they only filter the larger (>0.3µ) stuff like mold, toxic dust, and bacteria. The small stuff still breezes through. Plus, the masks get contaminated quickly by my detox breath. But it reduces my toxin symptoms by 20-30%. And I think it keeps my exposure a level or two lower, and keeps me out of the ER. So I keep mine on 24/7.
Even so, I’m still flaring up. Still averaging only 3.15 hours of sleep the last two nights (here’s my new graph of this).
But, hey. That’s still a lot better than zero sleep. Or eternal sleep. Speaking of which, man am I sleepy.
Getting back to my toxin dilemma and my 48-hour decontamination gamble: if this fails, I’m toast.
I have to get clearer air soon or my body will go bust. It seems so on my graph, too.
Fortunately, the car decon protocol is promising. It’s a chlorine dioxide gas treatment.
I’ve had some previous success with it. I did dilute the solution with too much water this time, but I think it’ll be okay since I’m keeping the heat on to liberate more of the chlorine dioxide gas.
I pray it works.
Chlorine dioxide is often confused with chlorine. But they’re not exactly the same.
Chlorine is a potent disinfectant. Stronger than bleach, it kills everything. It’s an indiscriminate beast.
That’s why we use it in pools, where children swim, and leak little brown puff clouds in their wake. See, chlorine is our friend.
But it’s also highly corrosive. Which creates harmful byproducts in its wake. And that’s where chlorine dioxide comes in.
Chlorine dioxide (ClO2) looks and smells like chlorine, but it’s weaker and more selective. It still kills things but isn’t as corrosive. It (supposedly) uses oxidation rather than chlorination to disinfect, which is safer.
The car heaters have been on all this time (in recirculating mode). The air movement helps the CIO2 outgas from the jar of yellow liquid. Once the gas is all gone, clear water and salt will remain. Then, supposedly, the car will have been sanitized. And, hopefully, the toxins neutralized.
Any minute now.
On a final note…
Many folks suggest treatments and remedies to me. They are well-intentioned and wanting to help. I’m grateful for that.
But please: no more treatment suggestions.
I’ve tried over a thousand treatments and modalities (one day I’ll post them all), so chances are I already know of, have researched, and tried them. And it saps my energy to reply to every suggestion properly.
In the past 5 years, I remediated my moldy home (twice), gut renovated several rooms, moved 6 times (the last 4 to new construction units), and thrown away all my belongings multiple times. So much money was lost. But everything quickly became too toxic to me again.
Finally, I’ve accepted extreme toxin avoidance as the only viable strategy to limit toxin exposure.
And, so far, it’s the only modality that has repeating, enduring efficacy. I’m still doing lots of other stuff, too, but everything else eventually loses efficacy. The pathologies/pathogens adapt. Immune function breaks down. And, of course, everything around me turns toxic.
I’m finally ready to do this properly, but now I’m broke. And almost out of time.
But as I’ve said before, I’m going to keep fighting.
I don’t know how or when, but with God and the internet as my witness, I’m going to figure this out.
For now, I need to go check on my car.
Deep breaths now. Wish me luck.
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